A gift for all men- a women’s dictionary

August 9, 2007 at 1:24 pm | Posted in character, dialogue, life, Meg, relationships, writing | Leave a comment

I’m cranky today, what I now call my artistic temperament (better than saying it’s PMS or bitchiness) so I decided to go for a bit of levity in this blog post. Perhaps not as useful as last week’s dialogue tags, but hopefully you’ll smile. Some days we have to remember, writing is meant to entertain. I hope this does…

Words Women Use:

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine. (Refer back to #1 for the meaning of Fine.)
4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!
5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word , but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)
6.) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you –do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome.
8.) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!
9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “what’s wrong”; and for the woman’s response to be, “nothing”. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

All joking side, my second purpose in posting this is to show how people/ readers can interpret dialogue differently. This is why it’s important to use dialogue tags to illustrate emotion (especially sarcasm) or deep thought to give a clue into the character’s mind. After all, you want your hero to interpret your heroine’s words/behaviors correctly, right?

-Meg
(and I wish I knew where this originated to give credit, please don’t sue. It was forwarded in an email from a good friend who knows a good laugh is essential for a healthy daily existence)

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